if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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