Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
