You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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