no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So many bounce houses so little time
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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