So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
