what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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