The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
