I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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