I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
