If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
