I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
