Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
ok first of all what the fuck
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