i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
