You can't special order awesome
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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