She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize