its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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