dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
