Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he just fucked me for my cheese.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
