Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
