Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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