I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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