I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
