That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
