Nicole vs. Life
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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