If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
