Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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