i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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