I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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