I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
