It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
