did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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