They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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