I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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