but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
