Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
