if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
