Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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