and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
