Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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