this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
