Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
