He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
