I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
