My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
