I think my vagina is haunted
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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