I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
