forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
