You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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