We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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