dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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