giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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