You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
look no pants
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
