Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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