with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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