I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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