Where is the hickey?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
