ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
