I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
