Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
