i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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