Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
