In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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