The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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