You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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