i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
