There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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