i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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