Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
